A common topic that continuously seems to circle around the [urban] community, is the start and outcome of the life of fatherless daughters. According to “Kids Count Data Center,” over 65% of African-American households are without a father. Although this number has decreased over the years, it is still a persistent problem within the black community.
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
- Frederick Douglas
Women have been the back pedal for a man’s foundation for everything, since forever. Without a woman, a man is nothing... literally. With that being said, why is it that black men impregnate women with a daughter and abandon them for their own selfish desires and needs?
It is most certainly fundamental for a man to have a strong, liberating, & dominant presence in his daughter’s life. Without this presence, the young princess will mature into a Queen with a void in her heart where her first King should have been. A lot of women fill these voids with unhealthy-abusive relationships, anger, and sex. A woman without a Father in her life can succeed, it’s been proven for years that a woman does not need a man, MKAY! However, the barriers that come with the hurt of an absent Father is groundbreaking and a heartache on a woman’s soul.
The Excuse
When you were younger, you might have seen your dad here-and-there or even not at all; but, one thing is for sure, you’ve always questioned his presence. Maybe he’s busy. I wonder if he knows about me.
Often times, daughters question themselves. “Why didn’t he want to be in my life? What did I do wrong?” You might have even blamed your Mother for driving him away. Listen saweetie, it’s not you. IT IS HIM! Stop using excuses and torturing yourself as a coping method because of something he did not do! You are glitter trapped in gold and him not seeing your potential, only left room for someone else to... you. So-
The Shift
Okay, fine! He doesn’t want to be in your life and you understand. You go on and find true love and without a doubt, you know that THIS one is THE one. You believe this because he shows authority, appreciates and respects your mind, body, and soul. He listens to your aspirations as well as your darkest fears and past. He’s strong. He’s smart. He loves you. He’s ... daddy.
You don't realize this until it is too late. You are too dependent on him and cannot seem to let go of this dominant presence in your life. He drives you crazy, yet keeps you sane.
He’s zaddy.
It’s disgusting, I know. To somehow be subconsciously attracted to a man because he obtains and resembles the simple characteristics of what a consistent, loving, strong, understanding man should resemble- the man that should have shown you these attributions firsthand. It’s insane, right? What is even more insane is the fact that you have to subconsciously look for this for the most irrational reason.
A man’s presence in his daughter's life reflects her moral authority and compass. Leaving a child, a young black woman in the making, at such a young age drives her to question and determine herself as nothing more than a sneeze- a bagatelle. It’s bad enough black women are stereotyped, mistreated, and being put on the back pedals in every race, including their own. If you are a Father, make sure your Queen realizes her worth. If you are a woman who crown is tilted, straighten it Queen. You have a kingdom to run (and you are more than worthy!) PERIOD POOH!